THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

Thanks Cyndi W

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they
were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every
morning

Uphill... barefoot...

BOTH ways

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way I was going to lay

a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it

and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of
thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to
know something, We had to go to the library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter, with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10
cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a
matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to
spank us! No where was safe!

There were no MP3' s or Napsters! You wanted to
steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play
our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come
undone.cause that's how we rolled dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or
screens, it was just one screen forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting
harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get
up and walk over to the TV to change the channel! There was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK
for cartoons, you spoiled
little rats!
AND don't forget that if the President was on TV, you were out of
luck. We would then actualy have to go and play or even worse, do
chores.

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we
had to use the stove .... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

Shirley & Marcy

Thanks Fritz & Elaine,

SHIRLEY & MARCY

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He
didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the
feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.

So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she
would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a
distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would
be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out
following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor
girl he knew. She did this for the whole week.

As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's
little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed
to do every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed
that lady following us to school all week?

Do you know her?'
Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is.'
The little girl said, 'Well, who is she?'
'That's just Shirley Goodnest,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy.'

'Shirley Goodnest? Who the world is she and why is she following us?
'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd
Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.
And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me
all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to
it!'

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon
you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift His countenance upon
you,and give you peace.

May Shirley Goodnest and Marcy be with you today and always.

Where did humans come from? ; D

Thanks, Erin A

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?' The
mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was
all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father
answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race
evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it
possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad
said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about
my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'

A Toast

Thanks, Erin!

An Irishman at a pub raised his glass to the attractive blond, lass: "Here's
hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead!"
Bewildered, the blonde girl asked: "What's that mean?"
"It's an Irish toast," replied the Irishman.

"Oh! Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon," she said, raising her glass.
"Huh?" asked the Irishman.
"That's French toast!" replied the blonde…

"The Publicity Dilemma"

I found this article on the Newsroom Web site of The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints. I thought you might find it interesting.
Click on the link below to view:

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-publicity-dilemma

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

Thank you, Gail T

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and
Passover holy days.
He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against
Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days.

The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such
recognized days.The case was brought before a judge. After listening
to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his
gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your
honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have
Christmas,
Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah,
yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your
client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said,
"Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said,
"The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states,
'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'
Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there
is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day Court is
adjourned.

This is a joke, it is only a joke.