Stimulus Bill

Thank you, Stephen B.

--- Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics
professor and says,

"I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"

The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my
office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with
my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student
agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's
house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his
backyard pool.
They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the
student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor
said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as
much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.

The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and
then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was
naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more
times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.

The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"

The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the
shallow end much deeper.

The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but
figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end,
the student began to become worried that his economics professor had
gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting
valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when
this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was
before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of
what could have been truly productive action!"

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile,
"Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."

~~~~

reminding you of a better stimulus package Lynda P passed on:

If only 1/3 of all members of The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-Day Saints paid an extra 5 dollars along with their tithing and
fast offering, by putting 1 dollar into each of the 5 "extra" areas of
the tithing slip, then the church would get about 4 million dollars
into the general missionary fund, 4 million for the Book of Mormon
fund, 4 million for the Humanitarian fun, 4 million for temple
construction and 4 million for the perpetual education fund!

Red Envelope Day

If you feel about abortion as I do, you may want to participate.

Thanks, Tessa, for passing this on.

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply
stores. On the front, address it to

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message.

"This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion.
It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part
of our world."

We will mail the envelopes out March 31st, 2009.

Put it in the mail, and send it. Then forward this event to every one
of your friends who you think would send one too. I wish we could send
50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died [in the U.S.]
before having a chance to live.

It may seem that those who believe abortion is wrong are in a
minority. It may seem like we have no voice and it's shameful to even
bring it up. Let us show our President and the world that the voices
of those of us who do not believe abortion is acceptable are not
silent and must be heard.

Together we can change the heart of The President and save the lives
of millions of children.

Thank you.

Barack Obama spoke at a Planned Parenthood Action Fund event, uttering
the now infamous line, "Well, the first thing I'd do as president is,
is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. That's the first thing that I'd
do."

An empty red envelope will send a message to President Barack Obama
that there is moral outrage in this country over this issue [The
Freedom of Choice Act, which will essentially "undo" every law
currently in place to limit abortion in the U.S. (i.e., parental
consent laws, parental notification, waiting periods, prohibition of
transporting a minor girl across state lines to obtain an abortion,
etc.)]. It will be quiet, but clear.

Please read more about The Freedom of Choice Act here:

http://www.lifenews .com/nat4359. html

http://www.barackob ama.com/2008/ 01/22/obama_ statement_ on_35th_annive. php

http://www.jillstan ek.com/archives/ 2008/07/one_ year_annive. html

A different kind of stimulus package

Thanks, Lynda!

We never know how far the effects of our service will reach. We can
never afford to be cruel or indifferent or ungenerous, because we are
all connected, even if it is in a pattern that only God sees.
---Chieko N. Okazaki

For LDS readers -

A way to donate just a little and make a big difference This is not
from anyone official in the church, but I think it is a great idea, so
I thought I'd pass it along. If you can participate that would be
great, but if not, that's okay too!

If only 1/3 of all church members paid an extra 5 dollars this month
(just once) along with their tithing and fast offering, by putting 1
dollar into each of the 5 "extra" areas of the tithing slip, then the
church would get about 4 million dollars into the general missionary
fund, 4 million for the Book of Mormon fund, 4 million for the
Humanitarian fun, 4 million for temple construction and 4 mil for the
perpetual education fund!

~~~
With all I have been hearing about charity scams and the amont of
money the telephone soliciters keep when you donate through them, this
makes wonderful sense as a way to make sure our little bit really
helps people who need it. B

Quit the Church

Thanks, Cyndi W -

Quit the Church
In a local newspaper in Provo , Utah , there had been an ongoing
series of articles written by individuals who wanted to persuade LDS
Church members to leave the Church. In response to the highly
critical and spirited remarks, a local member wrote this rebuttal:

Editor:
I have been thinking of quitting the Mormon Church. Yes, if I can, I am
going to get even with that church. As soon as I can find another church
that teaches about the Gathering of the House of Israel; the return of
the Ten Tribes and their mission; the return of the Jews to Palestine
and why, and how they are going to build the temple; the building of
temples and what to do with them; the mission of Elias, the prophet,
as predicted by Malachi; the method for the salvation of the people that
died at the time of Noah in the flood; the origin of the American Indian;
the complete explanation of why Jesus of Nazareth had to have a mortal
mother but not a mortal father; the explanation of the three degrees
of glory (three heavens) as mentioned by Paul; the complete
explanation of why Elias and Moses did not die but had to be
translated (since they both
lived before the resurrection was introduced by Christ); the restoration
of the gospel by modern revelation as promised by Peter and Paul and
Jesus himself; the belief in eternal marriage and the family, and the
knowledge and the place to seal for eternity; that teaches abstinence
from all harmful drugs and foods ; and that sells the best fire
insurance policy on earth, for the last days, for only a 10th of my
income.

Yes sir, as soon as I can find another church that teaches all that,
or even half as much, I will say good-bye to this Mormon Church. The
church that I am looking for must also be able to motivate 50,000+
youth,and adults, for the first, second or third time, to leave their
homes for two years at their own expense and go to far-away places to
teach and
preach without salary. It must be able to call, on a frosty day, some 5
or 6 thousand professors, students, lawyers, doctors, judges,
policemen, businessmen, housewives and children to go and pick apples
at 6 a.m. It must be able to call meetings and get the attention for
two
hours of more than 150,000 men. Yes, it must also teach and show why
salvation is assured for children who die before eight years of age.

Mr. Editor, could you help me find a church that teaches all that and
more than hundreds of other doctrines and principles, which I have no
room to mention here, and which brings solace and comfort to the soul;
peace, hope, and salvation to mankind, and above all, that answers the
key questions that all the great philosophers have asked; questions and
answers that explain the meaning of life, the purpose of death,
suffering and pain; the absolute need for a Redeemer and the marvelous
plan conceived and executed by Jesus Christ the Savior? Yes, as soon as
I find another church that teaches that, and also that has the
organization and the powers to make that teaching effective, I am going
to quit the Mormon Church. For I should not tolerate that "they" should
change a few words in the Book of Mormon-even if those changes simply
improve the grammar and the syntax of the verses-for, after all, don't
you think the Divine Church should employ angels as bookmakers, and
clerks, to do all the chores on earth? Don't you think, Mr. Editor,
that the Divine Church should also have prophets that don't get sick and
don't get old and die, and certainly, that don't make a goof here and
there. No, sir! A Divine Church should be so divine that only perfect
people should belong to it, and only perfect people should run it. As a
matter of fact, the Church should be so perfect that it should not even
be here on earth!

So, I repeat, if any one of the kind readers of this imperfect letter
knows about another church that teaches and does as much for mankind
asthe Mormon Church, please let me know. And please do it soon,
becausemy turn to go to the cannery is coming up. Also, "they" want
my lastson (the fifth one) to go away for two years and again, I have
to pay for all that. And I also know that they expect me to go to the
farm to
prune trees, and I have heard that our ward is going to be divided again,
and it is our side that must build the new chapel. And also, someone the
other day had the gall of suggesting that my wife and I get ready to go
on a second mission, and when you come back, they said, you can
volunteer as a temple worker.

Boy, these Mormons don't leave you alone for a minute. And what do I
get for all that, I asked? "Well," they said, "for one, you can look
forward to a funeral service at no charge!"... Do you think you can
help me to find another church?
Thomas D. Clark

Dog's nap

Thanks for sharing, Cyndi !

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into a woman's front yard.
She could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home
and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to her, and she gave him a few pats on his head;
he then followed her into her house, slowly walked down the
hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and she let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted her in her yard, walked inside and
resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This
continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious she pinned a note to his collar saying: 'I would like to find
out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are
aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a
nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to
his collar:
'He lives in a home with 4 children, 3 of them under the age of 4 -
he's trying to catch up on his sleep.

Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in
stone! -Unknown

at all times and in all things

Use every letter you write, every conversation you have, every meeting you attend, to express your fundamental beliefs and dreams. Affirm to others the vision of the world you want. You are a free, immensely powerful source of life and goodness. Affirm it. Spread it. Radiate it. Think day and night about it and you will see a miracle happen: the greatness of our own life.
--Robert Muller

Stress

Thanks, Ginger!

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
'How heavy is this glass of water?'

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In e ach case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the
heavier it becomes.'

He continued,

'And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,

As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,

We won't be able to carry on. '

'As with the glass of water,

You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.

When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'

'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home.

You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now,

Let them down for a moment if you can.'

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.

Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days yo u're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.

* Always wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"Recalled" by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty
and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different
colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.